HELLO WHO ARE YOU

My friend Dom Reed sent me this super funny link today!

Listen to their radio conversation and pay close attention to that delicious minty biscuit!

P.S I love old people.

Last weekend, my friend Joe came to visit from London. Joe is originally from South Korea and knows how crazy I am about South Korean stickers, K-pop, soju and kimchi. He cooked us the most amazing Korean lunch and showed us the most amazing K-pop songs, but most importantly he opened my eyes to a whole new world of a fucking creepy South Korean trend called ‘Muk-Bang’.

So basically people pay to watch other people eat! These Muk Bang betches make up to 9k a month just for filming themselves eat a ridiculous amount of food and telling their viewers about it! I immediately assumed it must be a sexual thing, especially because of all the slurping sounds, but after some research I realised that it’s actually quite sad. Almost 25% of the South Korean population lives alone. So most of the people paying and watching these videos are people who are lonely, don’t want to eat alone and just need to feel like they are part of some social activity. Also apparently these videos have helped people over come their eating disorders as well! So it’s not all that bad I guess, although I still think some guys might be jerking off to this. I don’t know why I’ve never heard of Muk-Bang before! I love it!

This is the queen of Muk Bang. They call her ‘The Diva’. She is 33 years old and can eat more than an American football team. The video is freakin long so just skip through it to get to the good bits. You’ll figure it out.

This girl can not physically eat with her mouth closed! It’s so irritating I had to put her on mute because of all the schmatzen.

Think I might move to Korea and become a Muk Bang princess myself! Watch me eat my feet!

P.S

So hungry right now. Right?

If you live in Vienna, you’ve probably seen those Ubahn commercials for a syrup called ‘Florabio’. The commercial shows a woman sleeping while walking her dog and the slogan is something like ‘Schluss mit Schlapp’

Florabio can (apparently) help you if you are suffering from fatigue and if you have an iron deficiency (like myself)

That’s a load of crapio.

My boyfriend and I have been drinking this shit for like three weeks now and we honestly think it’s making us more tired than anything else! I literally have to yawn the whole day. Maybe it’s like a reverse placebo effect?

This ‘elixir’ contains; iron, vitamin B1, B2, B6, B12 and vitamin C. Oh and apparently a massive dosage of sleeping tablets as well! I hate it. If you like it, please tell me why and what I’m doing wrong with this thing.

So basically, Florabio tastes quite good, but for the most part can go to hell.

I am subscribed to this amazing channel on Youtube called RRcherrypie – I’m not sure if it’s a girl or a guy, but he/she is my life now.

RRcherrypie basically buys these fun DIY kits from (mainly) this company called Kracie and shows us how it’s done!

Call me kracie, but I love this shit.

I mean, does this make you hungry or what? It’s also so friggin cute ! Look at it damn it!

I wonder if she/he has to practice before she/he films it.

Why does everyone pretend like Conchita Wurst started some sort of new fashion long hair and beard trend thing? Hasn’t Jared Leto been rocking that look for the past million years already?

Ok so I was hit by a car on Sunday and am pretty much stuck in bed, can’t move around much, can’t focus on much, can’t even read a book (I haven’t read a book since 2003). So I thought hey, this is the perfect opportunity to catch up and learn about some new blow job techniques!

While watching this video, I was both scared, fascinated and probably scared again. I’m warning you guys. Not sure if you should watch this at work.. What’s that thing again NSFW?! Yes. That’s the one. Just wear your headphones OK?

Also, maybe you guys can film yourself watching it for the first time! And then I can post your reaction videos on here! And I’ll invite you for an ice cream just kidding come on I’m not a fucking charity.

You’re welcome.

One of my favorite Japanese restaurants in Vienna is definitely Kuishimbo! Not only are the people that work there super friendly and cute, but they also make some friggin amazing food! (not to mention they all speak English)

If you’re ever in Vienna, hungry for some good quality Japanese cuisine and don’t mind having to maybe sit at the bar while you eat, then Kuishimbo is the place to be!!!

I mean, look at those Edamame beans man

And take a look at this cold spinach Ohitashi bro!

And my personal favorite dish –  Sake Don!  Take a look at that god damn salmon son!

You hungry yet? If you’re going there anytime soon, send me pics of your food! I wanna see! I always wanna see!

I watch the Eurovison every friggin year. Its both ridiculously embarrassing and borderline retarded. Also thanks to the Eurovison, people actually know what Azerbaijan is now!

I once met a girl from Ohio and our conversation went a little like this :

Where are you from?

Azerbaijan.

Shut up!

What?

Shut up!

Um..

Like Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azerbaijan?!

Eh no I think thats Azkaban..

Oh but it’s close right?!

Right.

So ever since the Eurovision was in Baku, more people know that we do in fact exist and we do have a dictatorship which the whole world manages to ignore and there is no freedom of speech whatsoever and the whole bloody country is completely backwards, but yes. At least they know we exist now.

The Eurovsion song contest is all politics. But last Saturday there was a far better and bigger message. Conchita Wurst won. By this she completely shocked all those countries which still mentally live in the middle ages. It scares me when some of my own friends are angry and disgusted by her victory. Even Austrians! Grow up you guys. and maybe even grow a beard?! For the first time ever. I am proud of Austria.

This was my live Eurovision reporting attempt on Facebook :

Congratulations Conchita Wurst <3

I recently posted this ‘Top 10 / Top 5’ thing I did for The Gap magazine. Remember? They finally published the mag and guess what! The graphics team managed to fuck it up. Instead of ‘Top 5 Worst Crystals’, they wrote ‘Top 5 best vintage shops in Vienna’. So now it looks like this :   So, if you’re ever in Vienna. I highly recommend you to check out these super cool vintage shops. Especially Crystal Meth. It’s by the Gumpendorferstrasse metro station, and it’s super popular with both young and old.